Thursday, March 02, 2006

He Doth Protest Too Much

Last night Duke Diva and I ate at a cute little neighborhood Cuban restaurant. Good stuff!

As we walked to our cars, Random Oddball Guy (ROG), who was standing on the sidewalk not far from the restaurant door, hailed us.

ROG: Hey, ladies, I'm a nice guy, and I just need a ride just down the road a little ways.

We Gals: Sorry...

Duke Diva to ROG: I'm a nice girl. But I don't let men who are strangers to me, ride in my car when I'm alone.

(Duke Diva and Elena get in their cars. ROG walks down the sidewalk...away from the restaurant.)

Elena: (on the cell phone) OK...there's a restaurant open....with people inside! And two tables over from us were three guys! So dude could have gone in and (1) made a phone call or (2) gotten some help. AND a nice guy (1) doesn't approach women in a way that would necessitate his having to say, "I'm a nice guy" and (2) shouldn't need to TELL people that he should just be evident. Kinda like saying, "I'm smart," isn't "smart."

Duke Diva: Yeah, it's like the time that I was in the church parking lot at night when a homeless guy came out from BEHIND another car and said, "I'm not trying to scare you, and I'm a good guy." My reply was "Well, if you're not trying to scare anyone, then why are you doing EXACTLY that!?!?"


A man who wants to protect a woman isn't going to do something that he knows is likely to genuinely scare her, especially if they are strangers to each other. (This doesn't preclude the courteous behavior amongst all folks in public, like a friendly but boundary-maintaining smile or tip of the hat or nod, or speaking to someone in the elevator. Or the fun "boo!"-and-chase game two sweethearts might play...)

A gentleman's gentlemanliness shows in his attitudes, his speech, and his behavior. How he cares about people should be evident. His chilvary should show itself without his having to point to it. Guys, you who open doors for us, who are polite and courteous, who are considerate of others, and who are protective of women and others who are weaker than you (for whatever reason)---we women thank you!!! Your genuine gallantry has not gone unnoticed. Bravo! And thank you for maintaining boundaries and respecting us as human beings! *smile*

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