Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Office Fragrance Line

Newest Releases:


* Attar of Burnt Popcorn….automatically exudes from both microwave and charred popcorn bag....available in Butter and Kettle Corn (which in its blackened form has the added value of smelling vaguely like a gigolo wearing cheap cologne)

* Java Aromatherapy…………if your morning Starbucks® didn’t wake you up, the office's 6-hours-of-percolating pot of coffee just might.

* Oil of Nondescript Asian Food Entrée….sure to embue any hallway with the aromatic leavings of last week’s trip to P. F. Chang’s

* Parfum de Chien …….. odor of wet dog....readily available on rainy days and Mondays (which, I don't know about you, but they always get me down)

* Eau de Old People….an interesting blend of stale cinnamon and aroma of “funeral home florist shop”

* Le Feet de Pu…..self-explanatory

* Killer-Migraine Room Freshener….Wafts from any office to five or six offices away in a 360-degree swath; extends its fingers up into your nostrils and sinuses; and once grasping your grey matter, twists your brain till all thoughts cease, but this one: Put me out of my misery, PLEASE!

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