Monday, June 27, 2005

Giving of yourself

It's a good thing, folks. And you're too blessed to be stressed, so don't stress over this. Just chill 'n' read.

Digital Cowboy has posted about masculinity and about what men want, over at his blog, which was partly inspired by previous blog conversations here at the Polka-dotted Sky.

DC says: Love gives. Until you've given, you have no right to expect.

That's the crux of the issue with most women, I'd say. God's been trying to teach me this lesson for a LONG time. "Give, Elena, and do not expect the return from the human. You cannot depend on the human to return your love. But you can depend on Me. Your expectation of Me does not insult Me, because very few expectations of Me are unrealistic. The limit is don't expect Me to follow your timetable. But you can expect Me to listen, to smile at you, to hug you, to laugh with you, to cry with you, to defend you, to teach you, to sing with you and to you and over you, to inspire you, to correct you, and so much more. I will be there when humans cannot. I will be there when the humans are there too. Let Me truly become your #1, and everyone else will take his or her rightful place in your life. When you seek from humans what ultimately only I can provide, you will be disappointed every time."

The woman who places God first will be enabled, equipped, and emboldened to love a man in such a way that her love creates a safe place for him...a wide open space in which he delights to respond by laying down his life for her...and I think this kind of love points the man back to God. (Nagging is not nurturing!)

Both persons in a marriage should fulfill Christ's command regardless of whether the other is doing what he or she is supposed to do. The wife should submit, unless she would be disobeying God or allowing injury to herself, even if he is not loving her as Christ loved the church. The husband should lay down his life, even if she is not submitting to him. Christ did what was good for us, even before we were doing right by Him. So...fulfilling our roles in a Christlike manner, whether or not the other person first acts in a way that encourages us to do the right thing, is living out Christ's life.

Expressing love without succumbing to fear of reprisal, of rejection, or of meeting with blankness or coldness is the challenge.

I believe that Jesus can teach us when the kind word will be timely and will be well received (that the person will take it in and be blessed by it, even if you see or hear no outward sign of the kindness being appreciated) and when the person is being like hard ground and cannot receive what you are wanting to say or to do bless him or her.

Lord, let me see the other person's need truly, not merely as an opportunity to have my need to help be fulfilled. Let this be about You and this person, not about me.

I think that kind of attitude and prayer is CRUCIAL to relationships, especially marriage.


Serena said...

Elena, You are so right and when Father blesses you with marriage and a husband, you are far ahead with this knowledge. You will only have to walk in it (some days easier said than done, but very possible to do!). It IS all about loving and serving the other person instead of looking out for your own interests. May Father bless you with the desires of your heart.
Love and shalom,

digitalcowboy said...

Well said. A perfect complementary piece to mine. You finished my thought quite well.

Are you the perfect woman? If so, admit it and we can be done with this. If not, how do you pull off the act so well?

(Please forgive for me for taking so long to get here. I haven't read anyone's blog in a week.)

digitalcowboy said...

I also forgot to mention that I use my powers for awesome.

You ask a question and then don't allow comments on the post?

That's quite illogical, Captain.