Thursday, May 26, 2005

Confidence is key

As discussed in today's "Adult Swim" segment of 107.5 FM The River's morning show, what transforms a man or woman with more ordinary physical features is confidence.

Speaking about initial attraction and our "animal side," the guest expert said that men look for women who look healthy: clear skin; clear, bright eyes; proportioned figure---a sign that she takes care of herself and isn't lazy. He said that women notice first in a man: broad shoulders, strong chest, flat stomach, and round tooshie. (Have you ever seen a man with a nice body walk into a room hunched over and cowering? I can't think of one!) He looks strong and healthy and shows that he can take care of himself. Taking care of oneself usually is a good indicator that a person can take care of others. (But beware the person who is overly interested in his or her own grooming and work and leisure activities and doesn't care about others!)

Yeah, if you're blessed with a faboo bod or if you've worked on your health so that you have a faboo version of whatever you've been given, and you still don't exude confidence, you won't be as attractive.

We must face reality, my friends: You cannot let yourself go and expect people of the opposite sex to find you attractive. When you work hard to accomplish goals and when you accept your basic personality (at the same time are willing to work on your weaknesses) and try to smile and be agreeable in public, then you are much more likely to be a person others want to be around.

Laziness, sloppiness, negativity, a critical spirit, and lack of confidence turn you into a miserable person. And though misery loves company, the company do NOT love misery. Misery is going to get you exactly what you don't want---total alone time. And even the most introverted person needs SOME relationships (whether work or project colleagues, acquaintances, close or best friends, Bible study group members, relatives, spouses, children, etc.).

I know that I have much to work on in my life. I won't enumerate all the stuff here. Just wanted you to know that I'm not perfect. Far from it! But at least I've come to admit I have to face reality about things and stop demanding that the world change in order to fit me.



Difster said...

The confidence theory doesn't just apply to attraction. It works in your job or if you're walking down a street that doesn't seem so safe.

Used to walk through South Minneapolis alone late at night. No one bothered me because I still had my Marine Corps posture and bearing. I didn't strut but I wasn't excactly slouching either.

If you go to a job interview, make sure you stand up straight and look your interviewer in the eye. Exude confidence even if you don't feel like you have any. Practice it if you have to. Eventually you will actually HAVE more confidence.

Wes said...

Thoughtful post, Elena. Good advice.

BTW, it tickles my funny bone, every time you use the word "faboo." Haha.

digitalcowboy said...

I'm stunned. I'm.. I'm.. speechless.

Who told you you're not perfect, Elena? Why, I'll find that dirty ruffian and punch 'im in the nose!