Friday, January 28, 2005

The Woman I Mean to Be

What has prompted all of this talk about marriage and being a wife? Me. I want to be a wife and mother someday, and I want to be a darn-tootin' good one. But it starts with the kind of person I am...or am changing to be, rather.

I can be pretty dang snarky, bossy, grumpy, moody, self-focused, loud, obnoxious, sarcastic, and critical-spirited. But I can also be kind, caring, sweet, generous, thoughtful, dedicated, hospitable, enthusiastic, and passionate. You never know which side of Elena's going to show itself. I could blame it on the devil, blame it on fluctuating blood sugars, blame it on nasty TN weather...blame, blame, blame. Nope. It's just me. And half of the time I don't like the me I'm being. It's good to hear that people really do appreciate and really do need others of good character and pleasant disposition. Why be kind and caring with no one to receive it? It's more blessed to give...because you get to be like God, who is the best Giver of all, the best Giver there ever will be.

I like the Amy Grant song "My Father's Eyes." The lyrics in the chorus describe the person the singer wants to be:

"She's got her Father's eyes...
Eyes that find the good in things
when good is not around;
Eyes that find the source of help
when help just can't be found.
Eyes full of compassion,
seeing every pain;
Knowing what you're going through
and feeling it the same."

I want to be this kind of person. And this kind of person, when she's married, makes for a very fine wife, no matter the quality of husband she married. (Although a faboo husband makes being a faboo wife all the easier and more delightful, I would think.) This person laughs WITH people, not so much AT them. This person cries with people. This person brings the chips and dip to the party that people like. ('Cause she cares.) This person remembers who needs sugar-free candy rather than the "bad" stuff. This person encourages others. This person teaches others new things with humility and enthusiasm...not in the interest of a good performance in teaching but in the interest of the students' learning something new and being better people because of the learning.

But I don't want to wait till I'm married to become such a woman. Some point along the way, I sat down on the path of life and refused to get up...sat there with my Twinkies and munched and cried into my bellybutton because things weren't going the way I wanted them to. Pathetic, sickening, huh? Yep.

Call it depression. Call it a blue funk. Call it whatever you want. I was in it. And today, this morning, right now, I'm not in it, and I don't want to stay in it. You know? Misery loves company, but company HATES misery. Misery makes for a very lonely life, even when you're among people. I lived that way for TOO long. Even after becoming a Christian.'s a new day. New possibilities. And as my dear Emily Dickinson wrote, "I dwell in possibility."

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Informal Poll for the Ladies: What Makes a Good Husband? Are You a Good Wife? (Or Would You Be a Good Wife?)

In the previous informal poll here at Polka-Dotted Sky (see below), some of the guys asserted their descriptions of what women are looking for in a husband or like about the husbands they have now. What do you think? Read their comments. Do you agree? What would you add?

If you're single, what are you looking for in a man? Now, before you give me the height, shape, hair and eye color, and list of interests you want him to have, stop for a minute. Think about the character traits he needs to have in order to live with you now. As you are now, not as you want to be in 10 years. (Will he need patience to deal with your mountain of debt or your bad credit? Will he need to stay calm while you blitzkrieg clean your house and whisk away every dirty glass before he finishes the last drop o' sweet tea? Will he need to be willing to handhold you through certain kinds of situations? We all have weaknesses. Let's just try to keep them from being neuroses...or at least, let's try to reverse the neuroses.)

If you're married, what do you treasure about your husband? (And keep your bedroom tales to yourself, please. I can find "manuals" on my own, thanks.) Are those traits things you were on the lookout for before you married, or are they what God provided b/c He knew you needed them? How have you changed in order to be a better helpmate to your husband? (This can be a deliberate change or a change that "evolved," so to speak.) What do you think your husband appreciates most about you? How does he show you his appreciation? How do you show your appreciation of him TO him?

What character traits do you think you have to offer your husband (current or future)? What character traits do you want to have (in other words, what areas are ones "for improvement"?)

Any related comments or stories are welcome. If you have an off-topic comment, that's OK---it'll help me start another post. Just keep it all SFW: safe for work---free from vulgarities, profanities, and obscenities. Thanks!

Monday, January 24, 2005

Informal Poll: What's in a Good Wife?

Comments welcome and appreciated.

Guys, what qualities (character traits) make for a good wife for any man? What do you want in a wife that would complement you specifically (rather than just any man)?

Single guys, what do you want in your future wife?

Married guys, what qualities/aspects did God provide in your wife that were tailor-made for you? Did you know, when you were looking for a wife, that you needed those things in her? Or were they qualities that God knew you needed and you didn't know you needed?

Please think about more than her looks and what's she's willing to do for you and to you in bed. I'm wanting to know about the quality of your partnership and your companionship within your marriage (or what you want/need when you get married, if you are single right now).

Keep your comments SFW: safe for work---free from expletives and vulgarity. Thanks!

Friday, January 14, 2005

Elena Joins Pink Kitty's Court

I'm now a guess columnist over at Pink Kitty's Scratching Post. More fun stuff to read! And a bit easier to comment there, since she's got Haloscan.

Yes, yes, it's confusing to everyone---Where is Elena gonna land? Four blogs!?! Is she insane? I know, I know. I'm still figuring it out.

Anyway, thanks for dropping by.


Wednesday, January 12, 2005

*Insert generic whining noise here*

Not much going on. Not much on my mind. I wanna nap. And I'm gonna whine about it. *commence whining*

It's just one of those afternoons. Nothing to say, so why am I writing? I dunno.

If you've arrived here looking for my thoughts on LOTR, the movies and the books, sorry 'bout the delay in posting on the topic, but it's gonna have to wait till the synapses are firing properly.

Oh, yeah, a big plastic piece fell off my car today. Oh, joy. I had to park the car in a nearby lot, trudge into the street, pick up the large debris, and stow the thing in the back seat. Yep, old Ebeneezer is officially jalopy material. All I need are some bad mariachi music, complete loss of air conditioning, and a collection of tacky rearview mirror decorations...and the tranformation will be complete. And you know, driving a hunter green '96 Honda Accord LX that's falling apart negates any diva points achieved by a fabulous outfit, cute hair, and cool shades. Let the Eau de Geek waft through the air. At last I OWN the car now.

*end whining*

Good things for today?
I'm breathing. I can see. I've managed not to bruise myself today. I've enjoyed some good cups of coffee. Chocolate is still yummy.